Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
