my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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