WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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