Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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