if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just puked most of my soul out..
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