he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
