either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
