somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can't special order awesome
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
