Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
