i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
