OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
