At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
