only if we run a train.
done.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
