so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
