I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
