well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
