Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize