I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
