how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
