Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
