I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
