you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
