Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize