hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
