its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize