just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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