but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
