At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
is that a dick in a sweater?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
