Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
