Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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