Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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