Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
