He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
