I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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