Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
