And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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