now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize