He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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