That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
