But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
