There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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