Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
