Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
