Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
