So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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