I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
