I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
