I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
