Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
