Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize