She's JV to your varsity
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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