dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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