her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
