I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize