my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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