I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
