dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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