So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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