Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
