im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
