Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
