I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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