Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
