My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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