I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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