I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Quick, to the slutcave!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
