People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
