The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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