Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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