I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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