It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
