Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
