I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
